Friday, March 4, 2016

Life Overload |Dealing with Anxiety|

Hello lovelies!  

It's Friday!  It's the weekend!  Things are about to get deep.

When I sat down to write this blog post, I noticed the sun was shinning, the dogs were playing outside.  I could hear my husband and son building Legos and laughing.  It's Friday - our normal family night where we rent movies and have a taco bar or pizza. I look at all this and I should be happy (and I  am deep deep down).

I have this ugly little monster that has been building and building inside of me until I had one little set back this week and I went into full meltdown mode.  His name?  Anxiety.


I have been around anxiety my whole life.  My dad suffers from social anxiety [A chronic mental health condition in which social interactions cause irrational anxiety.] He became basically a hermit only working and going to Walmart at 4 am to avoid people.  

My brother starting showing signs of anxiety a couple of years ago.  It got so bad he would have full blown panic attacks and eventually had to get on medication to help control his attacks.

About a year ago I noticed that when I made plans, even with friends who I have known forever, I would get an uneasy feeling.  It would eventually pass once I actually got to where we were going.  It would come and go in waves and I really never gave much thought to it.  

About eight months ago we moved back to Texas and into a nice house but it was definitely a fixer upper.  And I was happy with that.  My Pinterest boards were going up and I couldn't be happier - I could make this house our home.  

We did move right before school started and I had to do a lot of rushing around to make sure JJ was enrolled in time.   Justin was still working offshore so he was going for three weeks at a time but I was handling the move well.  I also started manager rental properties for my father-in-law. It was nothing major and I could make some extra spending money.

Things weren't so great...

JJ started off adjusted to school but about a month in he took a turn for the worse.  He was constantly acting out, hitting, and just having emotional break downs. He spent most of his time in after school detention or in school suspension. It was a lot added to the fact that I was basically parenting along for three weeks out of the month.  Justin decided to stop working offshore and get a job at the corporate location so he could be home more but by taking this new job he also took a pay cut.  

JJ kept getting worse in school so we had him switched to a new classroom and joined cub scouts so that he could meet and interact with boys his age and help build his confidence.  I love cub scouts but it took a lot of our time and was a new adjustment.  Our Sundays were basically running from church to home to grab a bite to eat then heading to cub scouts and back home for dinner and bed.  

I also decided to pick up another part time job while JJ was in school to help with the difference in pay. Life was chaotic.  We didn't ever have a weekend let alone a day to ourselves - constantly on the go.   I started to physically not feel good.  I honestly thought I had the flu with body aches and headaches but I pushed through.

Then Justin's job informed him they were making pay cuts to help with the drop in the oil field.  He could keep his job but it would be about a $4/hr pay cut and so we both began looking for other jobs.
It didn't take Justin long to find something a lot better.  Not only was the pay better but he was so happy when he came home plus he was home every night and weekend.  It took me awhile longer but finally found a great government job that would allow me to work with JJ's schedule.  I started all the paperwork, background checks, fingerprinting, etc and quit my part time job.  

During the time of getting the requirements for my new job, doubt and fear started to take over all my thoughts.  I would worry about things that didn't even make sense.  I felt as if everyone was out to get me and everything was going wrong, when actually everything was turning around.  Some days I didn't even want to get out of bed and would cry for no reason. Depression started setting in.  I was not new to depression.  I had suffered from it for years in my teens to my mid 20s.

Crazy lady in Kroger's frozen food section...

 All of the fear, doubt, rushing around, my life in a chaotic mess came to a head.  I have always been type A personality and now I felt as if I was losing control of my life.  My kid acting out, no time to just decompress, financial fears, etc

I had to go to Kroger's to get something for dinner and I was upset.  I didn't want to get out of bed let alone cook [Justin would have cooked if I would have asked].  And I couldn't decide what to make.  My mind started racing, my heart beat sped up, I started to cry and was having a small panic attack.  I knew I had to focus and control my breathing but I didn't want anyone to see me.   I opened the door to the frozen veggies in Kroger, stuck my head in and bawled like a baby.  I started taking deep breaths and after a few minutes I felt better or as good as I could.  I picked up something frozen and headed home.  I knew I had to do something.  

I first talked to my husband about what was going on.  I didn't have to suffer alone and he could tell something was going on with me.  My anxiety isn't severe and I am learning ways to deal with situations when they are out of control.  I am learning to live life a little differently than before especially when introduce to new situations.  Life is getting better everyday.  I am happier than I was the day before.


Facts/Questions about Anxiety:

Anxiety is a mental healthy disorder characterized by feelings of worry, anxiety, or fear that are strong enough to interfere with one's daily activities.  Research suggests that as many as 1 in 6 young people will experience an anxiety condition.  Its hard for people who don't suffer from anxiety to understand.  As much as Justin tried he just doesn't get it.  Here and here are some comics that might help explain it. Here is an app to for self-help with anxiety.

What causes anxiety?
Common causes of anxiety are panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, phobic disorder and stress disorder (what I suffer from).

Is anxiety hereditary?
Anxiety is not hereditary but the markers for anxiety may exist because of genetic markers which predispose a person to develop this conditions.

Symptoms of anxiety:
Fatigue, restlessness, sweating. irritability, fear, feeling of impending doom, insomnia, nausea, and the list goes on

Does anxiety cause depression?
No but people who have depression usually have a history of some form of anxiety. 

And just in case...

Suicide Prevention & Crisis Call Center 
text "ANSWER" to 839863

Thursday, December 31, 2015

New Year's Eve 2015

You know they say that whatever you are doing at midnight on New Year's Eve you will be doing for the rest of the year.  Tonight we are heading to church to play board games, listen to some great music, eat delicious food, and enjoy some great company.  

I don't normally like resolutions.  I never seem to keep them but I did make some goals I would like to achieve this year.

01.  Blog more!
02.  Be more present in my family.  (Put that cell phone down!!)
03.  Participate in a 5K.
04.  Finish at least three rooms on the house.
05.  Read 150 books.
06.  Visit with family more.
07.  Go on a cruise.
08.  Go to a football game.
09.  Go to a baseball game.
10.  Get organized.  
11.  Participate in Running with the Bulls (Houston Texans style)
12.  Get Juney Cakes back up and running. (My in home bakery specializing in cupcakes)
13.  Get chickens.

That is just a general list.  I am sure I will add more to it as the year goes on,  

I hope you have a great New Year's Eve!  

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Busy Busy...

Life has been crazy lately.

Jobs have changed and keep changing.  I don't want to jinx anything but I am no longer working away from home and as much as I enjoyed the extra money, it's nice to be able to actually clean my house.

Cub Scouts keeps us busy but it's so enjoyable for all of us. 
Tiger Cubs.

Even though it seems I have abandoned my blog, I have actually been working on several projects and post for not only this blog but a couple that I collaborate with.  Good stuff is coming, I promise.

And finally my computer got this nasty virus that I have been trying and trying to get rid of.  I would love a new computer but all my life is on here.  I am just really going to hate switching everything over.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Mighty Mug | Review and Giveaway

I always have a drink with me.  Usually coffee in the morning, water or tea during the day, and usually some herbal tea at night.  My biggest issue with all this?  Spillage.  I can't tell you how many papers and files have been ruined, spills have been cleaned, or times I have had to scramble to move my laptop out of harms way.

But I have found a solution to this - Mighty Mug.
My pretty Mighty Mug.

What is Mighty Mug?
Mighty Mug is an innovative mug that grips your desk when knocked into.

Does it really work?
 No joke, this mug never once tipped over even when my puppy and son chased each other around the house.  Survived PTA meetings, grocery shopping, and general errands.

So it really can't be knocked over?
I am sure if any member of the NFL was to tackle the table it is on, then yes it might be knocked over but the usual bumping into the mug or table won't budge the mug.

How does it work?
This smart grip technology.  Don't ask me to explain it - it just works.

Also the Mighty Mug comes in several different styles and colors.

My wishlist includes:

Mighty Mug Desk: Purple $14.99

Mighty Mug Ice: Blue $19.99

You can also buy parts and accessories for your Mighty Mug, you don't have to buy a whole new mug.  Know what else is awesome?  Mighty Mug wants to give you one of your own for free!  Just follow the link below and remember the contest ends at the end of the month.

Want to win a Mighty Mug?  Click here to enter!
Contest ends 9/30!

I received Mighty Mug for free in hopes of a review.  All views and opinions are mine and 100% truthful. 

Monday, September 7, 2015

$60 Target Gift Card | Twitter Giveaway

Hey guys!  I hope everyone's Labor Day is going great but if it's not, I am about to make it better.  How can I do that?  By giving you a chance to win a $60 gift card to the mecca of all stores - TARGET!  I mean who doesn't love Target?!?

What are the rules & how do I win?!?

01.  Starts today (9/7) and ends Monday (9/14).

02.  Follow everyone's twitter. We will be checking to make sure the winner follows all accounts.  But trust me you want to  - we are awesome.

03.  Giveaway Twitter accounts will not count. #sorrynotsorry

04.  Please share with your friends and family.

And that's it!  Good luck and if you win the Target gift card you can buy me something!  (Not a requirement to win but should be.)

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Soulful Sunday

Before I bring my need
I will bring my heart
Before I lift my cares
I will lift my arms
I wanna know You
I wanna find You
In every season
In every moment
Before I bring my need
I will bring my heart
And seek You


More than anything I want, I want You

Before I speak a word
Let me hear Your voice
And in the midst of pain
Let me feel Your joy
Ooh, I wanna know You
I wanna find You
In every season
In every moment
Before I speak a word
I will bring my heart
And seek You

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
-Matthew 6:33

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Hello SKIPtember!

I promise I am not crazy and I do know how to spell.  Most words. 

So what is SKIPtember/Skip Day?
Skip Day is when you give up one thing and give the money you would spend on that item to charity.  For example instead of spending your usual $7 at Starbucks, head over to and donate that money to feed the hungry.  

And in SKIPtember you would donate on the day you were born.  I was born on April 23rd so on the 23rd of September I am skipping something and donating the money.  If you were born on the first, today is your day to skip and donate.

What should I skip?
You can skip pretty much anything.  Car wash, dinner, breakfast, morning coffee, bottle water, a new shirt, drinks with friends, etc.  When you donate, will post your donation and what you skipped (as long as it is in good taste) on their website.

So why should you participate in SKIPtember?
Skip because you can.
Skip because 1/6th of the Earth's population is undernourished - more than ever before!
Skip because 25,000 people die every day from hunger and related causes.
Skip because every 6 seconds a child dies of hunger and related causes.
Skip something because the world needs our help.

So what are you skipping this month?  Make sure you  #SKIPtember on your social media so I can check it out.